I found a couple of stamps enclosed in your letter, for which I sincerely thank you, you also said you would send a postal order so that I could come to The Hague and see the exhibition of drawings.4 The postal order indeed arrived today, Sunday morning, I thank you for it and for your kind offer, but I’m sending the money back and am not coming, however much I’d like to see all the beautiful and interesting things you wrote about.5 Have already refused to go to Baarn,6 first of all because I’d rather spend my Sunday here going to church several times, and writing and studying some more,7 secondly because I’d have to ask for travelling money from Uncle Stricker, who has some money of Pa’s to be put at my disposal if necessary, and I hope to go on doing that as little as possible. If I go to The Hague, then I have to go to Baarn as well, and not just once – in any case, it’s better I don’t. Moreover, old boy, I know you really need it yourself. Many thanks all the same. I’m not sorry not always to have money in my pocket. I have a great craving for so many things, and if I had money perhaps I’d quickly spend it on books and other things that I can well do without, and which would pull me away from the studies necessary at the moment, even now it isn’t always easy to fight against distractions, and if I had money things would only get worse. And here in this world one remains poor and needy anyway,8 I’ve seen that already; one can, however, become rich in one thing and that is the goal of life, one can become rich toward God,9 and that is a part which shall not be taken away.10 And there may come a time when we can spend our money more wisely than on the best books and so on, and when one would regret having spent a lot on oneself in one’s youth, namely when we’ll perhaps have our own household and others to care and think for. There was a time when our parents, too, were uncomforted and tossed with tempest.11

In the midst of life we are in death,12 those are words that apply to each of us personally, that is a truth we see reconfirmed in what you told me about Caroline van Stockum,13 and earlier we also saw it in another member of that family.14 It affected me, and I sincerely hope with all my heart that she’ll recover. Oh, how much sadness and sorrow and suffering there is in the world, both in the open and in secret.15 ‘Seek, and ye shall find’16 is also one of those truths. How much has changed in that family if one compares it with how it was a few years ago. It was many years ago when we were together.17 And that was the time of The landlady’s daughter,18 and Longfellow says ‘there are thoughts that make the strong heart weak’,19 but it is written above all ‘Let him who has put his hand to the plough not look back’20 and ‘Shew thyself a man’.21

I looked for it in the illustration after the painting by Ruisdael, Haarlem and Overveen,22 that painter knew it too.

Should she quickly recover sufficiently for her to be taken back to The Hague23 and you then see her, give her my regards, and if you can find the words to cheer her up or give her courage and remind her what important reasons she has for being and, as it were, the right to live, especially for her children’s sake, tell her and you will be doing a good deed.24 Faith in God is renewed in a mother; what she feels for her children is holy and comes from Above and from God, and He says in holy writ to every mother ‘Raise this child for Me and I will give thee thy reward’.25 A strong word spoken from the heart at the right time can give comfort and do good.  1v:2

Was up rather early this morning and left around 6 o’clock for the early service,26 afterwards I walked down all sorts of old streets and would have liked to have you with me. You know the painting (at least the lithograph and woodcut made after it) by Daubigny, The Marie bridge,27 I thought of that. I like to walk in those old, narrow, rather sombre streets with chemists’ shops, lithographers and other printers, shops with sea-charts28 and warehouses for ships’ victuals and so on, which one finds near the Oudezijdskapel and the Teertuinen and the end of Warmoesstraat, everything is evocative there. Then went to bid good-day to Vos and Kee,29 and then to the Eilandskerk where the Rev. Ten Kate – the poet of De schepping and the writer of many beautiful books, such as, for example, ‘Bij brood en beker’ – gave the sermon30 on Rom. I:15-17: So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. The church was very full, and when one looked at those faces one saw something of the faith, for it was on many a countenance, on those of men and on those of women, written in their features in various ways, something to read. His voice sometimes uttered sounds and expressions like Pa’s, and he spoke very well and from an overfull heart and, although the sermon wasn’t short, church was out almost before one knew it, because his words were so enthralling that one forgot the time.

Made a summary last week, for a change, of the journeys of Paul,31 and drew a small map to accompany it, that is good to have. Uncle Stricker recently gave me a book on the geography of Palestine (German, by Raumer),32 of which he had two copies.

It’s especially nice if one imagines it illustrated by the etchings of Jacque.