Theodorus and his brother Vincent (Uncle Cent) were particularly close, and this bond was strengthened when they married two sisters. Vincent, who had no children of his own, took a close interest in his brother’s sons. It was on his recommendation that they went to work for the art dealers Goupil, of which he was a partner, Vincent in 1869 and Theo in 1873. His whole life long he kept an eye on Theo, who followed in his footsteps, but when Vincent abandoned his career with Goupil and declared his ambition to become a clergyman in 1877, his uncle washed his hands of him.33. Theo was remembered in the will with a bequest of 1,000 guilders. Vincent received nothing.

Relations between the family members were long-lived (as is also shown by the close collaboration between the brothers Hendrik, Vincent and Cor in the art trade), and the uncles Vincent and Cor had a great influence on the lives of Vincent and Theo.44. Exhib. cat. Amsterdam 1999. Nor was that strange. The ties with relatives and the immediate family circle were intense in the nineteenth century. Care was taken to ensure that no one became detached from the family.55. Mathijsen 2002, p. 205. The Van Goghs were all in close touch and were constantly visiting one another. There were also practical reasons for this, because networks of that kind could be of great social and economic importance.66. Stokvis 2005, p. 177. Vincent wrote to Theo: ‘Do you still visit Uncle Cor now and then? Sometimes I long to see him so much; just yesterday I wrote to him. Keep him as your friend’ (letter 81).

As joint owner of Goupil, Uncle Cent, for example, played a decisive role in the appointments and postings of Vincent and Theo. He was higher up the social ladder and was a member of the wealthy middle class, while Theodorus belonged to the lower middle class.77. Uncle Cent and Aunt Cornelie employed a manservant and gardener as well as a kitchen-maid (FR b2924); Theodorus and Anna had a maidservant and someone who came by to tend the garden (FR b2370 and b988). ‘Without a domestic servant, a middle-class family was not only literally short-handed but also socially déclassée’, according to Stokvis 2005, p. 140. For the elasticity of the terms middle class and bourgeois see Bürgerkultur im 19. Jahrhundert. Bildung, Kunst und Lebenswelt. Ed. Dieter Hein and Andreas Schulz. Munich 1996. The latter felt that his sons should do what his respected brother thought best. He told Theo: ‘I believe, from what Uncle Cent has told me, that Vincent will be going to Paris for a short time. Uncle is so eager that he should work for a while at the main branch and become more familiar with everything that goes on in the Paris office before the new house in London is opened. As I wrote to you recently, I deliberately refrain from asking for anything. I cannot judge what is desirable, and therefore believe that the decision is in good hands with Uncle Cent, who takes such a real interest in both of you’.88. FR b2726, 19 October 1874.

That the rich uncle, who loved Theo ‘so very much’,99. FR b980, Mrs Van Gogh to Theo, 7 June 1878. also advised and assisted the family emerges from a letter that Theo received from his father in 1885: ‘Uncle Cent does not forget us, but does so incognito, because he expressly wishes it. We have received proof of that through the good offices of Mr Tersteeg’.1010. FR b2267, 19 February 1885. It is impossible to say whether that ‘proof’ took the form of money, merchandise or a good word.

Just how influential and paternalistic Uncle Cent was is revealed in a letter from the Reverend Van Gogh to Theo of 1874: ‘I also believe that we must adhere to the rule to leave it entirely up to Uncle Cent regarding the arrangement of plans for the pair of you’,1111. FR b2724, 5 October 1874. and on 7 October 1878 it was he who told Theo that a new posting would offer better prospects for his career: ‘You know, it is still my opinion that I consider it best for you if you return to The Hague for a while, and I will hold to that idea so long as nothing better can be found for you. ... Now and then I hear of the good letters that you write home, which do Pa and Ma so much good. They need good news every now and then, and you know that you are never out of their thoughts for a moment. ... You must write to me again soon and tell me how you are getting on and what you have been doing lately’.1212. FR b5342. In the same month, on 20 October 1878, the Reverend Van Gogh then wrote (and one can see just how inescapably Theo was being guided in his actions): ‘I believe that I understand from Uncle Cent that he was awaiting a letter from you. Can that be? Perhaps in connection with your future? I just wanted to tell you, since I think it possible that Uncle will be coming to Paris before long. Completely between ourselves!’1313. FR b5343.

Uncle Cent’s influence continued unabated, and Theodorus consulted his brother in Princenhage his whole life long. The latter did not hide his displeasure about Vincent living with the former prostitute Sien (which was regarded as a gross violation of the social rules and as a scandal that reflected badly on the entire family) and that she profited from the money that Theo sent. On 1 October 1883, Theo’s parents wrote to him: ‘Uncle Cent advised against sending Vincent too much money, in order to reduce the risk of prolonging that connection. But make no mistake, we will happily cooperate for what he needs’.1414. FR b2245. That final remark makes it absolutely clear that Vincent’s parents wanted the best for their eldest son. Exactly one year previously they had sent him, in addition to a winter coat and a pair of trousers, a warm woman’s coat.1515. Letter 271. It was in any event a sign that, despite their reservations, they did not go so far as to deny Sien’s very existence.

Given their close involvement in Theo’s career, it is strange that both Uncle Cent and Uncle Cor were not prepared to help him financially when he wanted to open his own art gallery with Andries Bonger in 1886. He had come to Holland especially to ask for their support. They disapproved of the plan, and Theo was so disappointed that he fell ill.1616. See letter 568. One would have thought that they could have come to a different decision, given the close-knit family structure. It is not known why they turned him down, but they probably felt that the type of art that Theo wanted to sell was so modern that he had only a minimal chance of success and declined to give their backing for this uncertain adventure.1717. Uncle Vincent and Uncle Cor were definitely not the only ones with a conservative taste. The Dutch had not the slightest interest in the Impressionists or avant-garde art. On this see Tempel 1999. In 1888, in connection with his The night café (F 463 / JH 1575), Vincent said of H.G. Tersteeg, head of the Hague branch of Goupil: ‘But what would Mr Tersteeg say about this painting? He who, looking at a Sisley – Sisley, the most tactful and sensitive of the Impressionists – had already said: “I can’t stop myself thinking that the artist who painted that was a little tipsy”. Looking at my painting, then, he’d say that it’s a full-blown case of delirium tremens’ (letter 677). Vincent considered their indifference to Theo’s plans to be ‘a serious error’.1818. Letter 659.

Theodorus went to the Latin School in Breda. Despite poor health, he succeeded in studying theology in Utrecht. After filling various appointments he was called to the living in the village of Zundert on 11 January 1849. On 1 April that year his father confirmed him as a minister in the Dutch Reformed Church. On 21 May 1851 he married Anna Carbentus, daughter of the Hague bookbinder Willem Carbentus (1792-1845). He was 29 at the time, and Anna 31. Theodorus van Gogh belonged to the so-called Groningen School (Groninger Richting), a nineteenth-century Dutch theological tendency that wanted nothing to do with the old orthodox Reformed straitjacket. Its supporters put the emphasis on man’s training by God, and less on dogma and conversion (‘not doctrine, but the Lord’). Life and religious feeling had to prevail over doctrine and the intellect. In their view, the mind and the heart enabled mankind to partake of divine reality.2121. On the Groningen School see Rienk Klooster, Groninger Godgeleerdheid in Friesland, 1830-1872. Leeuwarden 2001, and Kools 1990.

The modest livings occupied by the Reverend Van Gogh, who attached great importance to ethical behaviour and could count on much sympathy from his parishioners, were all peasant villages in the province of North Brabant.2222. See Han van Crimpen in exhib. cat. ’s-Hertogenbosch 1987, pp. 77-91. In chronological order they were:

In the early years of the family there was not the slightest indication that most of them were to have such troubled lives. Expectations were high back then. Their parents ensured that they lacked for nothing for their moral education and general development. Both of them must have agreed on that, and they also ensured that there was an open window onto the world outside the parsonage. They subscribed to the newspaper Nieuwe Rotterdamsche Courant,2929. FR b2455. and in the Nuenen period, at least, also to a weekly selection of national and international magazines, among them Eigen Haard,3030. FR b2269. They also read De Hollandsche Illustratie (FR b995). and Nouvelle Revue.3131. ‘It’s so nice that we belong to a reading society. He [Vincent] always looks forward to those illustrated magazines, and then it’s so pleasant to read things, in Nouvelle Revue, and have something different and new every week.’ (FR b2268, Mrs Van Gogh to Theo, 25 March 1885). The parents clearly believed that they had to give all six children the opportunity to develop their talents and receive a good education. As a result, they had difficulty making ends meet. Significantly, the decision to move from Helvoirt to Etten was not simply because the salary was better and life in the village cheaper, but also because the Reverend Van Gogh considered it a duty to accept the living ‘because we wish to economize for the sake of the children’s upbringing’.3232. FR b2351, the Reverend Van Gogh to Theo, 30 July 1875. There is a good summation of the nineteenth-century goals of upbringing in Bakker 1995, p. 245. The top three were self-control, obedience and solidarity. Pedagogues considered the moral strength imparted by the family to be greater than that inculcated at school. So in addition to it being a question of having to, it was a matter of wishing to.

In Etten, the Reverend Van Gogh was paid 960 guilders a year, with an additional 75 guilders for preaching in the hamlet of Hoeven. His calling also entitled him to a number of benefits, such as the parsonage and its garden, which were rent-free, as well as payment of his income tax by the municipality.3333. Exhib. cat. ’s-Hertogenbosch 1987, p. 82. Nevertheless, his total income was fairly modest.3434. Exhib. cat. ’s-Hertogenbosch 1987, pp. 82, 84. Mrs Van Gogh visited the sick of the parish, and ran a sewing and knitting class in the consistory which would have been considered part of the good deeds done by the parson’s wife and would definitely have been unpaid.3535. FR b2255, b2675, b2788 and letter 138. She would have done so in order to practise charity. During the time when their daughters Anna and Lies were away at boarding school in Leeuwarden they had great difficulty in finding the hundreds of guilders in fees.3636. The school in Leeuwarden cost 216 guilders a quarter in 1874 (FR b2733). In 1875, when Lies was at a boarding school in Tiel, the expenses were 500 guilders (FR b2329). And from time to time there were large unforeseen expenses, as happened in 1873 when Vincent was selected for military service. Fortunately, the Reverend Van Gogh had taken out insurance to guard against this eventuality, but he still had to find 625 guilders to pay for a replacement.3737. FR b2604. Theo and Cor did not have to do military service either, since replacements were found for them. The schooling of their youngest son was also expensive. When it was decided in July 1884 that Cor was to take up an apprenticeship at the engineering works in Helmond, they had to pay 810 guilders a year, board and lodging included.3838. FR b2255. The two eldest boys were quite soon earning salaries of their own as juniors with Goupil in The Hague, but it is doubtful whether they were always able to get by on that.

Although the parents wanted the very best for all their children, and were constantly warning them about worldly temptations of every kind,3939. On 30 May 1879, the Reverend Van Gogh sent Theo a clipping from a magazine about the dangers of prostitution written by Jan Leonardus Chanfleury van IJsselstein, who had been a professor of skin and venereal diseases since 1867. Theo had just learned that he was to be transferred to Paris (FR b2481). In 1889 Chanfleury van IJsselstein published the booklet Het toezicht op de prostitutie, uit een hygiënisch oogpunt beschouwd (The supervision of prostitution seen from a hygienic viewpoint). they seem to have been most preoccupied with finding a job for Vincent, and were very involved in Theo’s career, who began making a contribution to the family’s finances at a certain point.4040. See The financial backgrounds. Anna married quite soon after finishing school, Lies found a permanent position, but Willemien had difficulty spreading her wings and helped in the household. It looks as if Cor struck on a plan of his own after a while. We do not have a very clear picture of the relationships in later years, because once the children had found their own feet there is little documentation of their contact with their parents. However, the letters that Theo received from his father and mother do contain detailed information, and it can be assumed that the words of wisdom they contained were also imparted to the other children. After Theodorus van Gogh’s death from a stroke on 26 March 1885, his widow continued living in Nuenen for a year, moving to Breda with Willemien at the end of March 1886. The inventory of the estate drawn up in May 1885 shows that the parsonage was soberly but decently furnished.4141. Exhib. cat. ’s-Hertogenbosch 1987, pp. 86-89.

Together they did their best to embrace life wholeheartedly, with faith, the Bible and edifying literature as their aids.4848. On the dominant role of faith in nineteenth-century life see Mathijsen 2002, pp. 242-244. For Theo, the family was the basis for coping with the world, as he wrote to his friend Andries Bonger: ‘Even if the world is the greatest school, family life as we have known it since childhood was the ABC for it’.4949. FR b889, 6 August 1885. The need for solidarity and unanimity was typical of the Van Gogh family – they strengthened its members.

That unity lasted for a long time, but in 1880-1881 tensions arose between Vincent and his father, and lasted until the latter’s death in 1885. Vincent had venerated his father for years,5050. Cf. ‘Pa’s spirit is so great and many-sided, and at all events I hope that something of it will develop in me’ (letter 100), and ‘Old boy, how wonderful it must be to have a life behind one like Pa has, God grant that we be and that we may become more and more sons after His spirit and heart, something may yet come of that’ (letter 131). but now he mercilessly toppled him from his pedestal because he felt that he attached too much importance to conventions, and from then on life at home was a battlefield. Their views were very different, and Vincent’s unseemly behaviour and appearance irritated his father time and again, while Vincent was annoyed by his father’s narrow-mindedness.5151. ‘Without wishing to, I’ve more or less become some sort of impossible and suspect character in the family, in any event, somebody who isn’t trusted, so how, then, could I be useful to anybody in any way?’ (letter 155). In December 1881 he refused to go to church, which stretched the relationship to breaking point. After a furious row, in which Vincent’s love for his cousin Kee Vos also played a part, he left his parents’ home, and only returned two years later. He not only broke off his ties with the church (which Theo, too, must have done quite early on),5252. Hulsker 1993-2, p. 72. The Reverend Van Gogh urged devoutness with the following words: ‘Truly Theo, you must seek for benefit for your religious life. In that which can give you a good sermon. I know that one doesn’t get that benefit from preaching alone but from nature as well, from good books and from mixing with people, but such a good, powerful, simple word can do good all the same’ (FR b2345, 28 June 1875). but also with his parents for a long time.

Theo, who was named after his father, was the apple of his parents’ eye. Significantly, even at the age of 16 he was being spoken of as ‘our crown and our honour and our joy, just like Vincent, who has that wonderful pleasure’.5353. FR b2630, 31 May 1873, Mrs Van Gogh to Theo, who was crowned remarkably often: ‘Always remain our joy and crown’ (FR b2318, 7 February 1875); ‘Look after yourself always, and be aware that you are our crown and joy’ (FR b2324, 25 February 1875); ‘Continue to be our joy and crown, that is the greatest treasure we desire’ (FR b964, 26 January 1878); ‘Continue to be the coronet of the old ones that has so often been shaken’ (FR b978, 12 May 1878); ‘Continue to be our crown. We need it so much’ (FR b983, 24 June 1878); ‘Continue to be our crown and joy’ (FR b2448, 15 December 1878); ‘Have much joy in the heart and continue to be the crown and the joy of us, who you well know have such a need to feel happy through the happiness of their children’ (FR b2452, 31 December 1878). A remark of Mrs Van Gogh’s shows that this crown metaphor embraced more than just the person who wore it but covered the honour and merits of the whole family. She wrote to Theo when it looked as if Vincent was going off the rails in the Borinage: ‘Now that the eldest has shaken the coronet it is our redoubled hope that the second one will straighten the coronet again’. And very exceptionally, going behind her husband’s back, she had said in the previous sentence: ‘Keep this to yourself, you don’t need to reply, no one saw me writing to you’.5454. FR b2463, Mrs Van Gogh to Theo, 27 February 1879. The parents often wrote on the same sheet, so were aware of what the other had written. The act of being able to help hold the family’s honour high and add lustre to it derives from Proverbs 17:6, ‘Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers’. This passage was used to justify the responsibilities on both sides.5555. There is also an echo of Philippians 4:1. Theo continued to be his parents’ confidant. He never neglected his duties, and it was he who acted as the mediator between Vincent and their parents.

So it was only for a short while that Vincent had ‘that wonderful pleasure’ and did his parents credit, and he soon realized it. The first signs of the parents’ concern surfaced in 1875, when they spoke of him as being ‘different’ and were worried about his religious fanaticism, which would continue for a few years yet. In the period when he still wanted to become a clergyman, his father did not know what to make of the endless epistles riddled with quotations from the Bible. They used the word ‘worry’ a great deal when speaking of their eldest son. In 1879 they wrote that they were ‘tired and all but despondent’.5656. FR b2488. See also Hulsker 1989. From December 1878 until October 1880, when Van Gogh did his best to be an evangelist and carer of the poor and sick in the Borinage, they tried to make him change his mind on several occasions, and urged him to follow a practical profession. But he remained ‘obstinate and pigheaded and doesn’t listen to advice’.5757. FR b2463, Mrs Van Gogh to Theo, 27 February 1879.

Vincent felt the gulf between them when he was back living at home in Nuenen in 1884-1885, and there were frequent clashes.5858. The Reverend Van Gogh wrote to Theo on 19 February 1885: ‘Pity that Vincent doesn’t join in any more. It’s as if he is increasingly becoming estranged from us. ... His short temper prevents any talking and that in itself is enough to prove that he isn’t normal. It’s certainly not easy for me to be passive. And yet previous experience has taught me that one doesn’t win by opposition and it doesn’t improve matters. ... We feel so sorry for him; because such a relationship can’t give him any pleasure’ (FR b2267). It was his sister Anna who thought that life would be more peaceful for their mother after their father’s death in 1885 if Vincent moved out, and she arranged that he did so for good. Willemien said of this: ‘He took that so badly’.5959. See the annotations to letter 490. Events of that kind did anything but strengthen the family ties, as Vincent had already realized at the end of 1883: ‘In character I’m quite different from the various members of the family, and I’m actually not a “Van Gogh”.’6060. Letter 411.

Understandably, this meddling could also create tensions. The relatives and family members were very closely involved with one another, and the parents had a great say about important choices, and consulted relatives and acquaintances about them.6262. See also Altena 1997 for tensions relating to the honour of the Domela Nieuwenhuis family. Two such individuals were Uncle Cent and Uncle Cor, who influenced the careers of Vincent and Theo through their connections in the art trade. Another one was H.G. Tersteeg, from whom they learned a lot about art and literature, and both of them kept in touch with him after they had gone to work elsewhere – Vincent in England and Theo in Paris.6363. See Jansen et al. 2003-1. Uncle J.P. Stricker played a similar role as an adviser when Vincent was living in Amsterdam in 1877-1878 to prepare for his examinations to become a theology student.6464. Cf. Groot and De Vries 1990. Uncle Cent disapproved of the plan. Mrs Van Gogh wrote to Theo on 18 April 1877: ‘We haven’t read the letter from Uncle to Vincent yet; Vincent is to bring it with him some time when he comes. Uncle wrote to tell us that he had written to him, but could not endorse his plans. You say: Uncle doesn’t know how seriously Vincent means it, but that’s not the point. Uncle doesn’t sympathize with his views but is well aware that Vincent is a good person, but Uncle sees no future in the plans and knows that that is necessary, and that is why he is not reconciled to it, and has certainly told Vincent so frankly’ (FR b2521).

There was a great awareness in the family that it was important for the children’s general development to be out mixing with people, which preferably meant people of good standing, needless to say. The parents constantly urged the children to ‘get in touch’ with influential and respectable people,6565. Cf. letter 406. and there were repeated words of approval for visits made. On the other hand, contacts with certain other people were firmly discouraged.6666. ‘On your journey you will now come into contact with all kinds of people, in the hotels you visit as well, but you will have to be a little on your guard with people you don’t know or trust. There will certainly be all kinds of odd fish among them’ (FR b2512, the Reverend Van Gogh to Theo, 14 March 1877). One naturally had to know one’s place, and great store was set by a certain degree of reserve and modesty. ‘Excessive expression of what goes on within one is certainly not necessary,’ Mrs Van Gogh told Theo.6767. FR b2803, 18 December 1876.

A sense of duty, self-control, willpower and decency were considered particularly important, and often found expression in such words as ‘well-behaved’, ‘clever’ and ‘respectable’. As the Reverend Van Gogh wrote to Theo: ‘May God bless you for your endeavour to be and become a respectable man’.6868. FR b977, 10 May 1878. See Bakker 1995 for the prevailing ideas about moral self-improvement. And there were very clear-cut ideas about what was fitting within one’s class. Vincent sometimes asked Theo not to tell anyone else about how difficult he was finding life, because he was scared that he would be unable to cope with their reactions.6969. Letter 366. This state of being unable to live up to expectations, and thus not come up to the mark, gave some of them a gnawing sense of guilt. Lies ‘always had such a feeling of self-reproach, as if I am not half enough for them. You all do a great deal, but what shall I do?’7070. FR b2226, Lies to Theo, 9 January 1876. It must have been a difficult task for the children not to cause their parents any sorrow. In 1877, for instance, there was a meeting between Theo and a girl which had ‘pained’ his parents. She had a bad name, and he was asked not to see her again.7171. FR b2532, 21 May 1877. Theo was left in absolutely no doubt as to where his duty lay: ‘You must and shall be our joy and honour! We cannot do without it!’ (FR b2520, 18 April 1877).

As many members of the family as possible tried to be at home for Easter and Christmas and during the holidays. The letters written shortly after these visits conjure up a picture of peacefulness and feelings of solidarity. Seen from a modern vantage point, the children were extremely obedient, but given the bourgeois Christian culture that held sway at the time, that etiquette was perfectly explicable. Everything was done to develop as tightly-knit a family culture as possible.7272. Stokvis 2005; Family life in the long nineteenth century, 1789-1913. Ed. David I. Kertzer and Mario Barbagli. New Haven and London 2002.

An eccentric person like Vincent must have caused problems in such a conservative family that conformed to the prevailing standards in many respects. He paid little attention to the rules of behaviour, and as an artist often looked as if he belonged to the working class, much to the horror of his parents and Theo. The latter was the role model in the family, because he had succeeded as an art dealer and had a respectable income. After his father’s death, the key members of the family were Theo, as the paterfamilias, and his mother. That also applied indirectly to Willemien, who continued living with her mother. They kept Vincent engaged in what was going on, in his difficult periods as well, even if it had to be by letter. Mrs Van Gogh went to live in Leiden at the end of her life so as to be close to her eldest daughter Anna and her grandchildren, and from there she continued to muse resignedly on everything that had happened and was happening.