5. The journey had also brought Theo to the decision to stay for the time being with
Boussod, Valadon & Cie. On 22 July, Theo informed his
mother and
Willemien about his interview with his employers the day before (about which he says nothing at all to Vincent): ‘I haven’t written to you since I’ve been back, because I was waiting for a resolution on the part of the Gentlemen. On the way and coming back here, I realized so clearly that recklessly giving up my position to plunge into uncertainty was a very dangerous matter, for I did have hope of finding the money to start my own business, but was not sure of it by any means. I thought about it so much that I was nearly desperate about having let things come so far and perhaps being very soon without one penny of income. So yesterday morning I had another talk with the Gentlemen and found that they are not really ill-disposed towards me. I said that when I had first spoken I had had rather a lot of faith in my lucky stars, and had not thought enough about the power of the firm, but that on second thoughts I had come to the conclusion that it was wiser for me to stay and that even if they thought I didn’t deserve a rise, I would reconcile myself to it and manage to get by.
Etienne B was then very friendly and said that nothing had been decided yet about my salary and that they would see if they could make things easier for me. I only hope that now I can do some business, that would surely be the best thing to help them make up their minds, but it is a quiet time [for business]’ (FR b933).