16. Although Vincent was looking forward to his brother’s visit, Theo did not go to Paris until October. On 2 July 1879,
Mrs van Gogh gave Theo a frank account of her visit, told him about the last letter from Wasmes, and asked him to tell Vincent that his departure for Paris had been delayed: ‘A letter from Vincent this week, we continue to worry about him, poor chap. He felt such sorrow after our parting, as though it were for the first time but could also be the last time, he wrote shortly after my visit to him. Now there had been a meeting, however, but no one had said anything to him, though they did before, but those had been criticisms. We tell ourselves they want to wait and see, but if he doesn’t conform and adhere to the conventions, as requested, he cannot be appointed. If he would just get a grip on himself for once, how much could still be put to rights. Poor chap, what a difficult, young life with so little fulfilment and so much deprivation, what will become of him? Do write to him again, just tell him that I told you about him and his situation, his Bible-reading and the friendly reception the people gave him for his own sake, that if he yields on minor issues and forces himself to act, to live, and to learn to dress like a simple, ordinary person, he would indeed be able to earn his living being useful to others, giving us joy, visiting his family from time to time and making a good impression, letting his light shine for people, perhaps it would help. Rouse his good will and try to support him. Oh we know it all so well, and what will become of him? You must tell him you won’t be going to Paris until later’ (FR b2484).
Mr van Gogh’s letter, written the same day, also speaks of Vincent’s rigidity and intransigence, which is so great that he fears ‘things will go amiss’. The letter reveals that
Uncle Vincent was the one who decided when Theo would leave for Paris (FR b2485).