1. Theo appears to have had renewed contact with the woman he was in love with. Several
remarks made by his
parents reveal the consternation this caused and show how they
attempted to impose their standards on their children. Mrs van Gogh wrote: ‘still, it
was disappointing to notice that you are not yet strong, and if you don’t yet feel
strong, you don’t avoid the dangerous places and risk temptation ... It seems to me,
Theo, that the girl does not respect the promise she knew you made to your parents. And
if she truly wanted to act sensibly, she would not have spoken to you first. Don’t make
yourself and us unhappy; it may be difficult to make a sacrifice, but your love is based
on sensuality, and you must open your eyes to the danger in order to flee it all the
more forcefully’ (FR b2533, 21 May 1877).
Mr van Gogh issued Theo a stern warning the same day. His reaction is
especially revealing as regards their view of the matter: ‘Haven’t you heard enough from
Jan Carbentus? I’ve seen so much of it. That is why such a relationship is so wretched
and loathsome, because it lacks any moral foundation and is based on material interest,
combined with sensual desire.
A man, a young man, a young man of good family as you are, you would be
throwing yourself away if you let yourself be tempted again to enter into a relationship
that you cannot expect to be a happy one.
I appreciate your having written to us. I am not saying that you acted
wrongly in your demeanour towards her. But Theo! I beg you, do not let her be deluded
into thinking that you are a young man of common character. Do not let her find you in
places and streets where others promenade, and if you must pass by such a street –
remember – to avoid any appearance of being stuck on someone, etc., which one finds
among the young people who promenade there.
Tell yourself that you will not let your life take that pitiful course.
Sacrifice pleasure – if it is pleasure, but console yourself that it is better to be
very reserved than too abandoned.
But you can and must have pleasure and diversion, only I beg you, do not
seek it in people of that kind. Your whole future depends on it. Jan Carbentus said it
himself. I was made unhappy by such a meeting in the street’ (FR b2532, 21 May 1877).
After this Theo told his parents that he wanted to change his situation
(FR b2534, 31 May 1877). To steer this plan in the right direction – a plan his parents
strongly disapproved of – Mr van Gogh spoke to
Uncle Vincent on 8 June about the
possibility of Theo’s being given a position abroad (FR b2535).
17. This particular passage in
Bunyan’s
The pilgrim’s progress ends
with the words of the gatekeeper Watchful, directed at Christian, the protagonist: ‘Is
thy strength so small? fear not the Lions, for they are Chained; and are placed there
for trial of faith where it is; and for discovery of those that have none: keep in the
midst of the Path, and no hurt shall come unto thee.’ See ed. N.H. Keeble. Oxford and
New York 1984, pp. 35-38 (quotation on p. 38). For the closing line, see
Mark
4:40. This scene was illustrated in various contemporary editions, such as
London 1870, facing p. 32.
Ill. 1829 ![[1829]](/vg/interface/artworkref.png "Anonymous - Fear not, illustration for John Bunyan, The pilgrim’s progress. Ed. London 1870 (Click to view image)")
.
![[1829]](/vg/illustrations/1829t.jpg "Anonymous - Fear not, illustration for John Bunyan, The pilgrim’s progress. Ed. London 1870")