If things should sometimes happen to you that you hadn’t counted on, strengthen within yourself the godly sorrow4 and the voice: ‘Abba, Father’.5

It was an autumn day and I stood on the front steps of Mr Provily’s school,6 watching the carriage drive away that Pa and Ma rode home in.

One could see that yellow carriage in the distance on the long road – wet after the rain, with thin trees on either side – running through the meadows. The grey sky above it all was reflected in the puddles. And around a fortnight later I was standing one evening in a corner of the playground when they came to tell me that someone was asking after me, and I knew who it was and a moment later I flung my arms round Father’s neck. What I felt, wouldn’t it have been ‘because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying in us, “Abba, Father”’?7 It was a moment in which we both felt that we have a Father in heaven; because my Father, too, looked up and in his heart there was an even bigger voice than mine crying ‘Abba, Father’.  1v:2

And then, old boy, as I said earlier, there is a strong yearning for the day when He will no longer remember the iniquities of our youth.12 Who rejoices in grey hair?

As far as the east is from the west, so far do I remove your transgressions from you.13 Though your sins be as scarlet, I shall make them white as snow.14

He who hate not his own life, he cannot be Christ’s disciple.15 Pa once sent me this:

Who sees, when the first life, the life of childhood and adolescence, that life of joy in the world and vanity reluctantly withers, and it will wither, even as the blossom falls from the trees, that then another life shoots up vigorously, the life of the love of Christ that constraineth18 and godly sorrow not to be repented of;19 how then, in our profound dependence on God, and in the clear and forceful feeling of this, we find more favour in His eyes,20 which are too pure to behold evil,21 and how He will entrust to us more safely, in our weakness, His Holy Spirit which giveth life22 and constraineth unto good works.23 Who rejoices in the life ahead? Who rejoices in grey hair, who rejoices in sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing,24 chastened, but not killed until ‘dying, and, behold, we live’?25 Who rejoices in falling down, and standing up again with longsuffering and meekness?26 Who rejoices in the green of the pine trees and cedar and ivy and holly and moss in the winter? Dry wood gives more heat, bright fire and light when it is lit than green wood does. There is no fear in Love, but perfect love shutteth out fear.27

And seek to please the poor,35 and to find favour in their eyes.36

‘Stablish your heart’.37 ‘Because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying in us, “Abba, Father”’.38

He that hath not loved knoweth not God; for God is Love.39 And this is life eternal, to know God, and Christ, Whom He hath sent.40 There is no fear in love.41

In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.42

And yet I am not alone, but the Father is with me.43 It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.44 It is better to fall into the hand of the Lord than into the hand of man.45

Let Christ be the centre of your longing, the Comforter of a troubled mind.46

‘Stablish your heart’47 in this sense, too: eat your bread with singleness of heart,48 I do so at least, I cannot do otherwise, God help me, if there be any danger in doing it; ‘Father, into thy hands I commend my heart’,49 eat your bread but live simply, and smoke your pipe, I do it too, whenever I have some tobacco and take a walk, I do it too whenever I get the chance to break loose. ‘And commit thy way unto the Lord; He shall bring it to pass’.50  2r:5

‘Stablish your Love’. What exactly is the Love of which Paul speaks? What exactly are those wonderful words which you also know, 1 Cor. XIII.51 That Love is the life in Christ, that love is our Mother, all the goodness of the earth belongs to her, for everything is good if enjoyed with thanksgiving,52 but she extends much further than that goodness of the earth. To her belongs a drink from the brook during a walk or from a fountain in the hot streets of London and Paris, to her also belongs ‘I shall make your bed in sickness’,53 ‘as one whom his Mother comforteth, so will I comfort you’,54 to her also belongs faithfulness until death in Christ who gives us the strength to do all things.55 There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.56

‘Stablish your hope’, for there is much that is good in life, for him who loves Christ the world is what it is, and all things shall be added unto him, as it were.57 It is indeed true that much joy already lies behind us, and also much that we used to look forward to, and although much joy may lie in store for us, we have already seen that ‘the world passeth away, and all the glory thereof’.58 And if it be true that:

Sorrow is better than joy,60 and it is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasts,61 for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.62

Even in mirth the heart is sad.63

For myself I shall endeavour to strive to love Christ and to work for Him in my life, even if it fails and even if I fall, there will always remain a standing aloof64 and a longing for above from the misery below. But I want to seek faith and Love and to continue asking for God’s spirit under all circumstances.

Now this is my vow to the Lord my God, my rock.65 If I am forsaken,66 then I am forsaken, but He is faithful and loves with an eternal Love and grants us our heart’s desire of being Evergreen.  2v:6

Read the prophecies of Isaiah and Jeremiah, Isa. 9, 11, 35; Isa. 40, 42, 43, 44, 45:2 and the following verses, 49, 53, 55, 58, 61, 63, 65;67 Jer. 3, 17, 30, 31.

My boy, days will come when we’ll no longer believe because we heard it said but when we’ll know, feel and love it. Then we’ll be moved71 to hear the name of God spoken, just as we’re moved to see our father again after a long time away from home.

And we’ll be brothers and sisters and children of the parsonage, as though made new, and in manifold ways.

Let us continue in life as long as our legs will carry us, even though our feet grow tired, and the oppression great, and even if our ears buzz with the sound of the world that they have been hearing for so many years, and even if our whole head is tired, and the going is difficult, let us continue in life because our Father and our Mother tell us to ‘go forth and don’t look back’, and if we can do good along the way,72 let us not neglect to do so; and yet it is more our heart than our work that God desires. Pa and Ma say ‘go forth’ and they love us, didn’t Pa say: my boy, surely you know that I would give my last shirt for you. Let us continue as long as our legs will carry us (and you will find that God giveth power to the faint; and increaseth strength to him that has no might,73 that God supports) for there is greater Love in store, that is why we rejoice and have faith in that life ahead.

A handshake in thought, it’s already late, adieu.