Tell me, Theo, how do I stand with you? Surely you’ve received my last letter,1
in which I told you one thing and another about what happened at home and how that resulted in my leaving home and going back to The Hague, and am now in my own studio, address SCHENKWEG No. 138 (near the Rijnspoor Station).2
, you know, helped me to settle in, but I still have all kinds of expenses ahead of me, and I truly haven’t had a penny in my pocket for a day or two. Of course I’d really counted on your having sent at least the 100 francs for the month of January.
But I haven’t received anything yet, not even a letter from you. The worst thing is that it’s impossible for me to work with a model before I have something in my pocket again, and so there’s almost nothing I can do, the weather is too bad to sit outdoors, although I’ve tried to repeatedly.
I’m fine, but the last couple of days I’ve been weak from the tension.
I’ve looked for models and know of a couple, but I can’t take them.
Today I went to Goupil out of desperation, because in keeping with what
you wrote I wanted to ask Tersteeg
to lend me some money for God’s sake.
But Tersteeg had just left town for a couple of days.
I don’t want to talk to Iterson about it.
I must also bear up bravely towards Mauve
. M. has really done enough already.
had promised to come and have a look, but he hasn’t been here yet.
If for one reason or another you can’t send the 100 francs all at once, send me part of it by return of post.
I just found a stamp in my pocket, otherwise I wouldn’t even have been able to send this letter. It’s a time of struggle for you and for me, but I believe we’re progressing. So let’s keep our spirits up, adieu, with a handshake.