exaggerated in the work. That parents who are ignorant from the point of view of painting should stop loving a child who’s a little different from the rest – that’s certainly a terrible misunderstanding – but even if they understood painting, how could one reproach them for it too much in this society of money and military men? That’s why, if he did his military service,1 it wouldn’t be more unfortunate for him, it would be to admit in good time that one has been vanquished by fate. What became of Vignon?2
Anyway, this is certain, it’s not a matter of putting on a proud front or having great hopes for what comes next. Let’s take the terrible realities as they are, and if I have to abandon painting I think I shall. In any case, I really want to see, one more time and with better health than two years ago, if I can’t find some sort of position. I’ve often told myself that if, two years ago, I’d had a calmer temperament like Seurat, for example, I could have resisted.